What's-His-Face from P90X Hates Fat People

Ok, ok, so maybe he doesn't hate fat people, but it sure as hell feels like it after an episode. Sure, he created P90X to make people fit but that does not change my sentiment after experiencing Chest & Back. All I can say is, "Ouch".

Yeah fattie, I'm coming after you!

It does feel amazing though, and my muscles ache in a good way. D suggested we do "Ab Ripper" or as it sounded like to me, "Hernia Generator", so I gently declined by flopping my arms all over the place (purely for biometrics, not because I didn't have muscle control) and made a noise that sounded very much like a cat zombie. He took the hint and we mutually decided to attempt it tomorrow.

All in all, it really made me realize just how out of shape I am. Although, I don't think I could ever remember actually being in shape before, unless you count an amorphous blob as one. But thanks weirdly-energetic-with-the-crazy-biceps-and-inclination-to-say-BAM!-loudly-like-you-are-trying-to-scare-the-fat-out-of-my-newly-ripped-muscles-dude-who-created-P90X for reminding me of this fact. I appreciate it, and that is why I will be doing more. Later. When the pain stops being painful.

Painmaker - Kill Your Tastebuds So You Won't Want To Eat Anymore

Having grown up with spicy food and dating someone who comes from a country where spices are a way of life, I am used to a certain level of spiciness and I deeply enjoy experiencing the heat it can bring. Not to mention, this donk read somewhere, some-place that spicy food helps you lose weight. However, finding a good spicy sauce is quite difficult in Germany, and sauces I've bought in the past were like innocent lambs dancing across my palate instead of the savage lions chasing those innocent lambs across my palate that I so wanted.

After a long search, and completely by chance, I found the savage lion of all savage lions. Meet Painmaker.

Dun dun dunnnn.

When I first set eyes on this bottle, initial thought, "Cool. A skull." then came, "It can't be that hot, it's just a gimmick." Then, "€11.99? Must be fo realsies!" So I bought it.

The plan for dinner was to marinate chicken wings in this sauce, so I added a tablepoon diluted in water completely ignoring the instructions to use just a drop. Also notice the 200,000 Scoville Units? Know what that is? I sure as hell didn't, so it was completely ignored. That and also the double row of skulls on both sides of the bottle AND a warning that this was not meant for children under the age of 16. Did I mention there was an age check at the cash register? Smart donk that I am, I ignored all that and set the chicken wings from hot to chemical weapon.

I would just like to mention, when I showed the bottle to D, he proceeded to open it, took a small drop of Painkiller and licked it off his hand. What happened next was a saga of woes lasting 24 hours. And we still ate the chicken wings. Well, three out of eight that were prepared. That sauce is SPICY. I was only able to manage half a wing, D the other two and half. I will admit, it was brutal. Tears, snot, sweat and coughing ensued for at least a couple of hours, and we devoured salad, buttered couscous and water to douse the apocalypse in our mouths. This is some serious stuff, and like the label says, it is hardcore.

Determined to be too hot to eat, we decided to save the rest of the wings for another day where we can combine it with yogurt, potato and fire extinguisher.

Anyone want a taste?

New Shoes!

Ok, so I actually bought them a week ago, but with my work schedule changing from hectic to hell, I took a vacay from my regimen until today when I finally(!) took them for their virgin walk. They definitely feel a lot better and lighter than my hiking shoes I was using before. Which ones did I buy? Glad you asked. Turns out the Nike Lunarglide were absolutely awful when I tried them in store, no support and the heel kept coming off. Not what you want when you're running. There was another pair by Oasics I tried out, really liked the feel but could not get over how ugly they were. So I'm shallow when it comes to shoes, so what? When I look down, marveling at how my feet are able to run while supporting this huge donk, I want to see sexy shoes. And sexy is what I got:

Ta-da!

Welcome home, Adidas Supernova. Welcome home.

2.5k!!!

Running a full 2.5k and completing that mini-goal came about very quickly! I thought it would take me at least another week or two. D and I went running, and instead of feeling ready to collapse, SMB in full swing and begging for a break at the 1.5k mark, I was feeling really good. I gave the thumbs up to D, and we continued our run for the last kilometer. What an amazing feeling! We hugged, high tenned, slapped each other's butt and stretched briefly before walking back.

D, being taller with longer legs and what with him being a man and all, could run faster and harder than the pace I'm setting. But being the nice guy he is, he runs at my speed and waits for me when I lag behind with an encouraging word and a donk pat. Having a supportive partner makes running fun, and I'm lucky to have him.

Next running mini-goal: 3.5k!

I'm hoping to be able to run a full 5k within a couple of weeks. With the amount of progress in such a short amount of time, it can happen. Most likely around the time when I get these babies:

Sweeeet

In other news, no major weight loss yet. I thought I lost about 2 lbs, but when I weighed myself again a couple of days later, it was back. I think my body played a practical joke on me, getting its revenge for all those salads and vegetables I've force fed it. I plan on continuing my exercise and diet plan though, so hopefully I'll start seeing results soon. Then we'll see who's the butt of the joke. Mwahahaa!

Donkiggity Hummus

After discovering how fantastically delicious and donkiggity home-made hummus is, I've never gone back to store bought. It's so fresh and intense, I can't stop myself from making love to the food processer to get every peppery, lemony globs out. I found a great recipe, but added my own personal touches to give it that extra boost of flavor and spiciness. Just keep in mind, tonguing the food processer's blades when finished are to be done carefully and slowly to prevent any unwanted tongue piercings. It helps to keep in tempo of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" as you do it.

Ingredients:

• One 16 oz can of chickpeas
• 1/4 cup liquid from can of chickpeas
• Fresh juice from an entire lemon
• 2 tablespoons tahini
• 3 cloves garlic, crushed
• Pinch of salt
• 1 tbsp pepper
• 2 tablespoons olive oil

Preparation:

• Measure out your chickpea liquid first before draining the chickpeas. Combine all ingredients in blender or food processor. Blend for about 5 minutes on low until thoroughly mixed and smooth.

• Place in serving bowl, and create a shallow well in the center of the hummus.

• Add a small amount of olive oil in the well. Garnish with parsley (optional).

• Serve with sliced cucumber, bell pepper, carrots or eat simply with a spoon or your finger. You're even allowed to lick it straight from the bowl and have your wicked way with it.

Oooh, yeah.

My Sister, A St. Jude Warrior

First off, I want to say how incredibly proud I am of my sister. Not only is she studying for her Masters in Political Science with the goal of getting into Harvard Law, but she also lost 30 lbs a year ago and is now participating in the 2012 Warrior Dash for St. Jude. Her goal is to raise $250 (€190), and so far she has raised $170 from the last time I checked her page.
She has been a big source of inspiration to me in my own weight loss; she looks amazing, she has loads of energy and now she is putting her now healthy state into a good purpose by running a 5k obstacle course in Southern California to raise money for sick children. The race itself looks challenging and really really cool, and I totally wish I was doing it with her.

So I am asking my dearest, sweetest, generous friends, if they would be so kind as to donate a bit of money to her cause so she can realize her goal!

Yasmin's Page
St. Jude Warrior Dash Homepage
Warrior Dash Youtube Video

St. Jude Warrior, Mimi!

Slobbery Mouth Breather and The Great Donk Escape

I noticed something as I was running, first I produce a huge amount of spit and second, I breathe heavily which causes the spit to, well, spew out in attractive, juicy gobs. That was when I came to the realization that I am a Slobbery Mouth Breather runner. I can't even switch to breathing through my nose because then I'm a Snotty Loud Breather and that is so much worse, not to mention, disgusting. Sure, being a SMB clears the path in front of me by alarming people I'm coming up to from behind, not to mention it's actually a nice re-hydrator, but why couldn't my body had decided to do something a bit sexier? Instead, I look like this:

Exactly like this. Even the short fat legs bit.

On another note: My donk does not like pants. Or more specifically, workout pants. I'm crossing the street as I'm running when my donk tries to escape the confines of its elastic waist prison and nearly mooned construction workers, mothers with children and cars driving past. Brilliant. Absolutely, bloody fantastic. My donk had a ball, literally jiggling in joy and enjoyed the brief moment of freedom and fresh air before I desperately pulled my pants back up amid whistles and car honks and ran away for dear life. Sure, it wasn't a full moon in the middle of the afternoon, more like a waxing gibbous, but oh boy, was my face red.

It's not a full moon if you don't see crack.

Now for some good news: For the first time, I ran a full 1.5k without stopping to walk. Woohoo! Huge progress! Next goal, running 2.5k and eventually the full 5k! Let's see if I can tone down the SMB and not expose myself the next time.

Save as Draft